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Your
Mother
PO Box 623
Pleasanton, CA 94566
www.yourmother.com
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1998
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You!
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International
Porn Star Nuts Day
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Everywhere!
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Sunday,
Nov 15,
1998
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Int'l
PSN Day?! This holiday (more like a day of recognition,
really) began last year. The lot of us were pretty keen
on finding out how to acquire the sheer sheen testicles made
desirable by our favorite gay male porn stars. Do we Nair
'em? No, possible sterilization. Do we pluck em?
Yeah, right. Do we shave 'em? Sure, but you first...
There was our problem - no one wanted to be the first to try
it, for reasons of fear, so we decided that on November 15th
we were going all show up at the scheduled YM show with shiny
easter eggs for balls. We all did, and it was a great
time for everyone, except Alex who deemed his nuts as "everything
from mid-thigh up to the neck." Some of us have retained
the smooth sac, while others look forward to the hoiliday as
a time to nice'n up the nuts. This Day is not limited
to Men, however, but Porn Star Nuts Day was spawned by porn
star nuts, and it sounds better than Shaved Snizz Day, so we
stuck with the original title. So have at it ladies, too!
(For those across the pond, the Europeans have concocted (conCOCKted
- hee hee) something called Golden Balls, which is supposed
to work pretty well, check it out...)
Post-holiday cheer: Ahh, smooth as a frshly shaved nut
sac! |
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Your Mother,
Rosemary's Billygoat, Bobby Joe Ebola, Eric-Core
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first show
at the once Punks With Presses, now Circa Now Warehouse
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41st and
Linden in Oakland
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Fri, Nov
13
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| Geez:
I didn't even know about this show until the night before because
it's confirmation among this band's members was buried in one
of the 100+ emails we toss around to each other each week (I
am NOT exagereating). Luckily, my original plans got cancelled
and I, first regarded as unable to attend, was actually the
first to arrive. Mikey showed up some few minutes later.
Eric-Core played then Bobby Joe played their last show as a
two-piece (supposedly they will be a full band next time...)
Then a band played that was to earn a prestigious place in my
list of Top 5 All-Time Greatest Live Acts, among such staples
as the Muscle Bitches and Fat Day. Rosemary's Billygoat
(from LA) captivated me with their at-least-one-big-prop-per-song
antics (including an electric chair, a large, flaming pentagram
- with head harness! - a multitude of costumes, and many other
totally ingenious props) and pure metal music. This is
one of those bands that i can't say enough about, but will go
to great lengths to try. Ho geez, unbelievable.
Then is was our turn. I was actually glad to hear that
still only Mikey and I were the only ones to have shown up,
because I was fearful of having to play after that. Eventually
Alan and Joe showed up complaining of traffic and ambiguous
directions, and Bradley called saying he was back at home, unwilling
to spend another minute driving the streets of Oakland looking
for a building he is now sure does not exist. We never
played so i went to gilman to listen to Melt Banana from outside
because i spent the last of my money of a Rosemary's Billygoat
CD. |
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Your Mother,
Soda Pop Fuck You, Critical Mass
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we can
only hope the other bands make up for our predictably poor
performance
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924 Gilman
St
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Sat, Oct
24
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Yeah:
Expecting a less than average (which is pretty low!) performance
on our part, we were apparently "pretty good," says people we
don't know. Mikey' secret identity assured us the second
slot so he could scoot off to CENSORED so everyone
took off to follow him, leaving me to catch Critical Mass, an
awesome ska band who were, believe it or not, an actual ska
band! None of this Skankin' Pickle meets Op Ivy meets
NOFX stuff. It was more like the Specials meets very old
Fishbone. Very good. I got free bagels. I can't believe
how boring these have gotten! |
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P.O.P.S.,
Your Mother, Firme, Betty's Love Child, Caraduras, Los Stubs
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Zapatista
Benefit.
There will be speakers, Food Not Bombs, AK Press and more!
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Works Gallery,
SJ
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Fri, Oct
16
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| Word:
I was sick, my back was going through one of it's "up yours!"
phases, and I had to work at 8 this morning, so I was not in
the best of moods for playing this show last night, but I was
under the impression we were playing ~8 or 9, leaving me plenty
of time to pack up, get home, and cry myself to sleep.
Due to who knows what, we didn't play until around midnight,
2 full naps after i got there. We played and I practiced
my Spanish, in honor of all the Spanish-speakers there (remember
what the benefit was for): "Nosotros estamos Su Madre!
Yo soy muy infermo, pero como mi propio mierda, si gato grande!"
("We are Your Mother. I am sick, but i eat my own crap,
so big cat!") No one noticed or seemed to care.
We played 2 songs, my guitar broke and we played 2 more before
something caused us so stop. I was oblivious to this,
but apparently one of our "fans" began Sieg Hiel-ling us.
This naturally upset some of us (not me, because I had no idea
this was going on - long hair and a sweaty forehead can do that).
Confrontations began and before i knew it our set was done.
By the time I got all our stuff packed away I went to say good-bye
to everyone and noticed a loud arguement going on between said
"fan" and Joe, the New Guy. That was when I was filled
in on the preceedings. I still don't know what the guys
motivations were, and i don't know if he even made it out of
there alive (remember all them Spanish-speakers? from what i
gathered, they weren't all that happy with the guys' actions),
but i went home to dream about how shitty of a work day i had
ahead of me. If you know more of what happened, and want
to enlighten me on what was up with this guy, lemme
know. Something about racism always gets me down. |
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Your Mother,
and probably other great bands (hopefully the Feces Munchers!)
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Mic Mucus'
b-day blast
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Mic's in
Davis
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Sat, Oct
3
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| The
Scoop: Mic has a tendency to befriend everybody,
so i was not the least bit surprised to see a good collection
of homeless folks there. They were wildy entertaining,
much more so than we were. For the record: our friends
in Davis RULE. I got rugburn on my forehead and i think
alan and mikey ruined their golf suits. Lots of stories involving
the infamous "midget cop" floated around, providing us all something
to bond over. I also went to put the box to a case of
beer on my head but in my haste, I didn't realize it still had
two full cans in it. So, to match my rugburn, I also have
two bumps on my head. Joe washed his hair. This
is boring. |
Your Mother,
Atom & His Package (PA)
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all i hear
is that Adam & co are a sight to see.
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Radio Free
Records, SJ
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Mon, Sept
28
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| Happenin':
Any further conception of us being a "geek" or "nerd" band
is no longer possible. With bands like Fat Day, and now
Atom (& His Package), we are nothing more than a dumb, boring,
old punk band. Nerds we may be, but dork-rock we are no
longer. We can't possibly match the supreme idiocy and
dopeyness of these bands we've been playing with lately.
Just amazing. We got some work to do... To
update the now-growing saga, my recently declared Ex showed
up so I did the punkest thing any band has ever done in San
Jose, I sang her a love song. No distortion, no jumping
around like a spaz, just pure, unbridled sap. We got to
talking and eventually ended up at some 24-hour restaurant till
2am. Then she got home and called me and we kept talking
till 5am. I don't know what do make of it, but I felt
better afterwards. The upswing to all of this? I
sense a shitload of new YM songs coming... |
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Miami (don't
tell anyone, but this band has a lot to do with HICKEY), Chinese
Love Beads (NM), DON'T BE MISTAKEN (craigums new all-star
band with devon from all you can eat, max from spazz, and
chuck from good riddance)
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just a
show, man
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The Build
in SF
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Sun, Sept
27
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| The
word: Chuck couldn't make it so we went sans
bass. Bandanas were sported, along with bullet belts,
flipped brim caps, and our gang-vocal buddies. The shit
was dope, bro. We played about 14 minutes and I still
managed to over-exert myself. Chinese Love Beads were
rulin'. Pure Rock. Honestly. Miami was entertaining
too, as i got punched shortly into the second song by the singer.
One of those "nothing terribly exciting happened, but i had
a great time" shows. And no one stepped in the poop that
was sitting like a landmine in front of the place. |
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Your Mother
(minus Joe)
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lil' Seth's
b-day
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Llil' Seth's
house
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Sat, Sept
19
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| The
scoop: Embracing Mikey's heritage, we played in the
heart of Castro Valley, a city known for it's surplus of meth
labs, it's abundant production of metal bands throughout the
80's (Vio-lence, Death Angel...), and for generally housing
some of northern California's most Mikey-esque types. (anyone
who knows mikey knows what i'm talking about.) we played
in a backyard next to a large patch of wild vegetation, later
dubbed Mosh Gardens. We were physically forced to play
"music to mosh to" and all of our lyrics followed accordingly.
I am still amazed at how many words I rhymed with "pit" and
"mosh." a couple of our more homoerotic numbers were thrown
in to balance it out and we somehow escaped alive. in
fact, our tender rendition of "Worse things" complete with my
nuts hanging out, actually prevented a fight which had until
then reached the butt-heads stage. i mean they were actually
butting heads like rams. later, when i got home, i got
a message from my girlfreind. i called her and 4 hours
later we were broken up. i felt (and still feel) like utter
ca-ca, and to make matters worse, i went to unzip my pants to
pee and caught the tip of my weiner in the zipper. i somehow
fell asleep but was awoken at 8 am by my roomate who was playing
that 38 Special song that goes "i'm so caught up in you, little
girl..." things really suck sometimes, ya know... |
Your Mother,
Fat Day (Boston), Artimus Pyle (ex-Fuckface), Geri Live, Better
Than Your Hand
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excuse
to sweat a lot
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Mission
Records
in SF
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Sunday,
Aug 30
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| Oh,
man... you missed, easily, the nerdiest band ever
to exist. A small amount of words (which is all I can
use on this page) could never describe Fat Day. All Harvard
grads (one just passed the bar before they left on tour), all
in matching gym outfits, all on musical trampolines...geez,
i don't know where to begin. Trust me, a band like you've
never seen. It was said that they made us look like Biohazard.
I, personally, thought we did lousy, due to all the "technical"
problems, but someone asked where we got all our energy.
It was then i realized that a bulk of our energy is derived
from frustration brought on by other band member's failure to
"get with the program." Alan broke two basses (neither
of them his) and Mikey kept feeling the need to tune.
Who tunes? And that just leads to a bulid up of energy,
albeit negative energy, but energy all the same. There,
question answered. All that really matters, though, is
that you do all you can to see a Fat Day show. It is personally
guaranteed and endorsed by each and every Your Mother member. |
Rocket
Queens!!!
and Ringwurm, Subincision, Nothing Cool, and some others...
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don't know
much else yet...
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Cocadrie
in SF
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Sunday
Aug 9
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| I
don't remember much, man. It was just a blur of hair, guitar
solos, stuffed pants and leather. I remember the chaps
coming in handy at one point. |
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Danny Angel,
Midway(ohio), Punching Judy
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Danny Angel
is Pete Wagner, Dan Burnside, and craigums and it's a cross
between the misfits and when metallica does misfits covers
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Magoo's
Pizza, Livermore
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thurs july
30
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| The
Events: With the exception of when members of the Islamic
Center downstairs asked us to be quiet for 10 minutes so they
could pray, things went off without a hitch. Though, sometimes
I think people in Livermore are just cardboard cut-outs by the
way they often just sit there and watch a band. |
Danny Angel,
Midway (Ohio),
440 Six Pack
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ditto
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CW Saloon
in SF
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wed july
29
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| Wha'
happened?: Not much. I had a good time. |
Your Mother
(of course), and
Fun People
(from Argentina!)
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a BBQ of
some sort. bring your Yves faux deli products or a whole lot
of antacid
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Livermore
Teen Center,
Livermore
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Sat, July
18, 1998
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| Heated
activities included: After considerable tension arose between
Steve from Adjective Noun and the entire hardcore community
we emitted Rock in an effort to further stimulate the bad vibes.
By the time we were done, though, most (but not all) were smiling
and decidely non-comfrontational. Acting like a complete
moron in the face of animosity can do that, I guess. Upon
completion of our rather mediocre set, where "South Of Heaven"
was plundered through, Paul Bostaph (the drummer of Slayer)
came up to Bradley and said something along the lines of us
being "entertaining" and "fun." "Man, he was so nice,"
Bradley said later with a lingering sense of stun. Rather
reminiscent of Jason Newsted of Metallica putting our Pasture
of Muppets sticker on his bass: small form of flattery from
the least recognized members of most recognized bands.
Good to know they have a sense of humor, and more importantly,
don't want to beat us up. Fun People, by the way, were
(and still are) just AWESOME. |
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Your Mother,
Fun People (still from Argentina!)
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celebrating
the return of Argentina's finest (and now fattest)
the Fun People
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Camden
Teen Center,
San Jose
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Fri, July
17, 1998
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In
a nutsacshell: The day of the show,
Jeanine (the promoter who was lead to think she could start
the show at 7 and have her 6 bands be done by midnight) found
out earlier that day 1) the hall was double-booked, adding 3
more bands to the bill, 2) there was an AA meeting there until
8, and 3) the show had to be done by 10:45. That's 9 bands
in 2 hours and 45 minutes. Things went rather frantically
but both Fun People and us still got to play through a PA the
size of a dinner plate. They still Rocked. They
even got paid. |
Your Mother,
Rank Review (ID), Gob, Operation Cliff Clavin (IN), Bobby
Joe & the Children MacNuggits
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Pajama
Party
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924 Gilman
St
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Friday,
July 3, 1998
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| How
it went: All I really remember is Alex showing up
in a full sorcerer's ensemble shortly before he disappeared
and came back as a 6-foot tall/4-foot wide Pac-Man. This
was also before he went on about freebasing Bisquik and waking
up inside his bed which, he was surprised to note, contained
not boxsprings, but the illusive concoction known as Lymon.
Oh, and at some point BonneVicci was apprehended and removed
from the premises by a team of crackpot squashbucklers with
an obvious death wish. We pulled together a chorus using
Whitney Houston's all-powerful "Greatest Love of All" to which
BonneVicci made his escape from his heathen captors and returned
unscathed. |
Your Mother,
Vox Pop, Rank Review (ID), Punching Judy
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show for
the boise band
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Magoo's
Pizza Livermore
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Thursday,
July 2, 1998
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Pre-show
Note: just so you know, it is well-documented that we suck
HARD
4 out of every 5 times we play in Livermore.
Post-show note: For whatever reasons the show started
late and we only had to play for about 15 minutes, thus severely
limiting our possible "suck time." It was noted by audience
members that never before had our playing/talking ratio been
so in favor of the playing side. In fact, I think nary
a word was said between songs, less Alan's feeble attempt to
gain acceptance of his incredibly dorky new shoes. Those
'Ho's (as in "IdaHO") sure can jump. And it's too bad
Vox Pop feels the urge to go away to school, because they're
getting really good... |
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Your Mother
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we're practicing
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yet to
be determined
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Sunday,
June28
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Notes
for practice: Unless you're in the band, you're not invited.
this practice is called in honor of our lack of schtick. Gilman
is the following weekend and, in an effort to come across as
at "not totally, completely boring and/or old hat", it may be
to our benefit to practice. i know the likelihood of this
is slim, very slim, but it would still be a good idea.
so far we are only at 1 practice this year and it's half over.
let's beat our old yearly records and maybe make this year special!
c'mon guys, 2 practices! i know we can do it!
After Practice Notes: Not too bad. We came up with
some new songs (all covers, of course) and delighted in stories
involving socks, duct tape, and the theme to the Lite Brite
commercial. |
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Your Mother,
Nothing Cool, Nuclear Rabbit
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I hate
smoking...
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533 Madison
in Fairfield
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June 6,
1998
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| How
it went: Sensing mid-set failure the clothes were
shed and bad covers were hauled out. But not only were
the Fairfielder's imperviousness to our shenannigans but the
smell of our dirty cocks drove most of them away. They
had goats in their backyard so our regular motto of "Don't Fuck
With The Ghost!" was altered to accomodate our new four-legged
friends. "Don't Fuck With The Goats!" we exclaimed!
Nobody cared. So it goes... |
Your Mother,
K.P.F.,
Useless ID (Israel),
Erik Core, Gut Monkeys
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no
particular reason
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924 Gilman St
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Sat, Apr
25, 1998
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| Synopsis:
Useless ID were excellent, obvioulsy a sign of being on tour
for a while, while we were mediocre, which is actually above
par for us lately. It was "Sports Night" and uniforms
were donned shortly before our uniforms "slipped" off. |
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Your Mother,
Subincision, Naked Aggression, Hellbillies, Nothing Cool,
others
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benefit
for Llamas For Liposuction
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Cocadrie
in SF
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Sun, Apr
26, 1998
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| Synopsis:
Our main reason for playing this show was because "Why would
a crusty crowd like us?" Our main objective was to humiliate
ourselves (like usual) but to also annoy some dirty patch-punks
and hawk-rockers in the process. Then we got there and
found out the guitar player from Naked Agression died the night
before. So much for our "making fun of Naked Agression"
schtick. |
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Your Mother,
Betty's Love Child, Curbs, Pigzenspace, and others
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all ages,
starts at 6pm
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Odd Fellows
Hall,
San Jose
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Fri, May
8, 1998
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| What
happened: It was Josh's b-day celebration and he cut us
short before we even got to play "Happy Birthday" for him.
I would have cut us off too, if I were him. Mikey spent
most of his time blaming his utter failure to play the guitar
on the guitar itself (like skaters do to their boards when they
bail), and our already meger performance suffered. Mikey
did, however, seem to take the attention off his lack of guitar
skills for a moment when, in a moment of fury, he pulled his
shorts down and did a Hulk Hogan-style removal of his boxers. |
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Your Mother,
Bobby Joe Ebola, Astrolloyd, Aquamen, Feces Munchers (Mic
Mucus' new band), many others
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another
Geekfest
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Pt Molarte
by the Richmond bridge
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Your Mother's
Day
Sun, May 10, 1998
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| What
you missed: Everyone showed up at Pt Molarte and, for the
first time in the two years Geekfests have been happening there,
The Man came and shut it down. After much deliberation,
the show was moved to Mo's house. We set up and proceeded
to make most everyone sorry they went through the effort of
having us play. Mikey is pretty close to making Alan and
Alan's equipment look good because half of our last two shows
have been Mikey trying to fix whatever (borrowed) equipment
he has just broken. But, it was his b-day, so we got to
take out a small portion of our frustrations by giving him his
b-day spankings. |
Your Mother,
Third Sex,
Cathy Ames,
Luckie Strike, N.M.E.
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Benefit
for local Women's organizations
all-ages
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Spartan
Village Community Center, San Jose
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Thurs
May 14,
1998
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| What
Happened: Mikey drove out there first only to find out it
was canceled (probably due to Seinfeld). When Alan went
to call Bradley and I to tell us before we drove all the way
down to San Jose, Mikey tried tackling him to the ground in
an effort to stop him, so we would also drive for naught. Hey,
what are friend's for? |
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Rocket
Queens (our Guns'n'Roses cover band), Subincision
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huh?
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Boomerang
in SF
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Tues, May
19, 1998
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| What
went down: shit! we played guns'n'roses, what do you think
happened?! Rock occured, baby! in true punk fashion, though,
we borrowed nearly all of our equipment due in part to our own
ineptness, and part to lack of trunk space, and mikey decided
his bare ass was substitue enough for his forgotten guitar parts.
thanks to my dad for loaning me some chaps. |
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