no longer a band, now just a website!


Your Mother
PO Box 623
Pleasanton, CA 94566
www.yourmother.com

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who
what
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1998
You!
International Porn Star Nuts Day
Everywhere!
Sunday,  Nov 15, 1998
Int'l PSN Day?!  This holiday (more like a day of recognition, really) began last year.  The lot of us were pretty keen on finding out how to acquire the sheer sheen testicles made desirable by our favorite gay male porn stars.  Do we Nair 'em? No, possible sterilization.  Do we pluck em?  Yeah, right.  Do we shave 'em?  Sure, but you first...  There was our problem - no one wanted to be the first to try it, for reasons of fear, so we decided that on November 15th we were going all show up at the scheduled YM show with shiny easter eggs for balls.  We all did, and it was a great time for everyone, except Alex who deemed his nuts as "everything from mid-thigh up to the neck."  Some of us have retained the smooth sac, while others look forward to the hoiliday as a time to nice'n up the nuts.  This Day is not limited to Men, however, but Porn Star Nuts Day was spawned by porn star nuts, and it sounds better than Shaved Snizz Day, so we stuck with the original title.  So have at it ladies, too!  (For those across the pond, the Europeans have concocted (conCOCKted - hee hee) something called Golden Balls, which is supposed to work pretty well, check it out...) 
Post-holiday cheer: Ahh, smooth as a frshly shaved nut sac!
Your Mother, Rosemary's Billygoat, Bobby Joe Ebola, Eric-Core
first show at the once Punks With Presses, now Circa Now Warehouse
41st and Linden in Oakland
Fri, Nov 13
Geez:  I didn't even know about this show until the night before because it's confirmation among this band's members was buried in one of the 100+ emails we toss around to each other each week (I am NOT exagereating).  Luckily, my original plans got cancelled and I, first regarded as unable to attend, was actually the first to arrive.  Mikey showed up some few minutes later.  Eric-Core played then Bobby Joe played their last show as a two-piece (supposedly they will be a full band next time...)  Then a band played that was to earn a prestigious place in my list of Top 5 All-Time Greatest Live Acts, among such staples as the Muscle Bitches and Fat Day.  Rosemary's Billygoat (from LA) captivated me with their at-least-one-big-prop-per-song antics (including an electric chair, a large, flaming pentagram - with head harness! - a multitude of costumes, and many other totally ingenious props) and pure metal music.  This is one of those bands that i can't say enough about, but will go to great lengths to try.  Ho geez, unbelievable.  Then is was our turn.  I was actually glad to hear that still only Mikey and I were the only ones to have shown up, because I was fearful of having to play after that.  Eventually Alan and Joe showed up complaining of traffic and ambiguous directions, and Bradley called saying he was back at home, unwilling to spend another minute driving the streets of Oakland looking for a building he is now sure does not exist.  We never played so i went to gilman to listen to Melt Banana from outside because i spent the last of my money of a Rosemary's Billygoat CD.
Your Mother, Soda Pop Fuck You, Critical Mass
we can only hope the other bands make up for our predictably poor performance
924 Gilman St
Sat, Oct 24
Yeah: Expecting a less than average (which is pretty low!) performance on our part, we were apparently "pretty good," says people we don't know.  Mikey' secret identity assured us the second slot so he could scoot off to CENSORED so everyone took off to follow him, leaving me to catch Critical Mass, an awesome ska band who were, believe it or not, an actual ska band!  None of this Skankin' Pickle meets Op Ivy meets NOFX stuff.  It was more like the Specials meets very old Fishbone.  Very good. I got free bagels. I can't believe how boring these have gotten!
P.O.P.S., Your Mother, Firme, Betty's Love Child, Caraduras, Los Stubs
Zapatista Benefit.
There will be speakers, Food Not Bombs, AK Press and more!
Works Gallery, SJ
Fri, Oct 16
Word: I was sick, my back was going through one of it's "up yours!" phases, and I had to work at 8 this morning, so I was not in the best of moods for playing this show last night, but I was under the impression we were playing ~8 or 9, leaving me plenty of time to pack up, get home, and cry myself to sleep.  Due to who knows what, we didn't play until around midnight, 2 full naps after i got there.  We played and I practiced my Spanish, in honor of all the Spanish-speakers there (remember what the benefit was for): "Nosotros estamos Su Madre!  Yo soy muy infermo, pero como mi propio mierda, si gato grande!" ("We are Your Mother.  I am sick, but i eat my own crap, so big cat!")  No one noticed or seemed to care.  We played 2 songs, my guitar broke and we played 2 more before something caused us so stop.  I was oblivious to this, but apparently one of our "fans" began Sieg Hiel-ling us.  This naturally upset some of us (not me, because I had no idea this was going on - long hair and a sweaty forehead can do that).  Confrontations began and before i knew it our set was done.  By the time I got all our stuff packed away I went to say good-bye to everyone and noticed a loud arguement going on between said "fan" and Joe, the New Guy.  That was when I was filled in on the preceedings.  I still don't know what the guys motivations were, and i don't know if he even made it out of there alive (remember all them Spanish-speakers? from what i gathered, they weren't all that happy with  the guys' actions), but i went home to dream about how shitty of a work day i had ahead of me.  If you know more of what happened, and want to enlighten me on what was up with this guy, lemme know.  Something about racism always gets me down.
Your Mother, and probably other great bands (hopefully the Feces Munchers!)
Mic Mucus' b-day blast
Mic's in Davis
Sat, Oct 3
The Scoop: Mic has a tendency to befriend everybody, so i was not the least bit surprised to see a good collection of homeless folks there.  They were wildy entertaining, much more so than we were.  For the record: our friends in Davis RULE.  I got rugburn on my forehead and i think alan and mikey ruined their golf suits. Lots of stories involving the infamous "midget cop" floated around, providing us all something to bond over.  I also went to put the box to a case of beer on my head but in my haste, I didn't realize it still had two full cans in it.  So, to match my rugburn, I also have two bumps on my head.  Joe washed his hair.  This is boring.
Your Mother,
Atom & His Package (PA)
all i hear is that Adam & co are a sight to see.
Radio Free Records, SJ
Mon, Sept 28
Happenin':  Any further conception of us being a "geek" or "nerd" band is no longer possible.  With bands like Fat Day, and now Atom (& His Package), we are nothing more than a dumb, boring, old punk band.  Nerds we may be, but dork-rock we are no longer.  We can't possibly match the supreme idiocy and dopeyness of these bands we've been playing with lately.  Just amazing.  We got some work to do...   To update the now-growing saga, my recently declared Ex showed up so I did the punkest thing any band has ever done in San Jose, I sang her a love song.  No distortion, no jumping around like a spaz, just pure, unbridled sap.  We got to talking and eventually ended up at some 24-hour restaurant till 2am.  Then she got home and called me and we kept talking till 5am.  I don't know what do make of it, but I felt better afterwards.  The upswing to all of this?  I sense a shitload of new YM songs coming...
Miami (don't tell anyone, but this band has a lot to do with HICKEY), Chinese Love Beads (NM), DON'T BE MISTAKEN (craigums new all-star band with devon from all you can eat, max from spazz, and chuck from good riddance)
just a show, man
The Build in SF
Sun, Sept 27
The word:  Chuck couldn't make it so we went sans bass.  Bandanas were sported, along with bullet belts, flipped brim caps, and our gang-vocal buddies.  The shit was dope, bro.  We played about 14 minutes and I still managed to over-exert myself.  Chinese Love Beads were rulin'.  Pure Rock.  Honestly.  Miami was entertaining too, as i got punched shortly into the second song by the singer.  One of those "nothing terribly exciting happened, but i had a great time" shows.  And no one stepped in the poop that was sitting like a landmine in front of the place.
Your Mother (minus Joe)
lil' Seth's 
b-day
Llil' Seth's house
Sat, Sept 19
The scoop:  Embracing Mikey's heritage, we played in the heart of Castro Valley, a city known for it's surplus of meth labs, it's abundant production of metal bands throughout the 80's (Vio-lence, Death Angel...), and for generally housing some of northern California's most Mikey-esque types. (anyone who knows mikey knows what i'm talking about.)  we played in a backyard next to a large patch of wild vegetation, later dubbed Mosh Gardens.  We were physically forced to play "music to mosh to" and all of our lyrics followed accordingly.  I am still amazed at how many words I rhymed with "pit" and "mosh."  a couple of our more homoerotic numbers were thrown in to balance it out and we somehow escaped alive.  in fact, our tender rendition of "Worse things" complete with my nuts hanging out, actually prevented a fight which had until then reached the butt-heads stage.  i mean they were actually butting heads like rams.  later, when i got home, i got a message from my girlfreind.  i called her and 4 hours later we were broken up. i felt (and still feel) like utter ca-ca, and to make matters worse, i went to unzip my pants to pee and caught the tip of my weiner in the zipper.  i somehow fell asleep but was awoken at 8 am by my roomate who was playing that 38 Special song that goes "i'm so caught up in you, little girl..."  things really suck sometimes, ya know...
Your Mother, 
Fat Day (Boston), Artimus Pyle (ex-Fuckface), Geri Live, Better Than Your Hand
excuse to sweat a lot
Mission Records 
in SF
Sunday, Aug 30
Oh, man...  you missed, easily, the nerdiest band ever to exist.  A small amount of words (which is all I can use on this page) could never describe Fat Day.  All Harvard grads (one just passed the bar before they left on tour), all in matching gym outfits, all on musical trampolines...geez, i don't know where to begin.  Trust me, a band like you've never seen.  It was said that they made us look like Biohazard.  I, personally, thought we did lousy, due to all the "technical" problems, but someone asked where we got all our energy.  It was then i realized that a bulk of our energy is derived from frustration brought on by other band member's failure to "get with the program."  Alan broke two basses (neither of them his) and Mikey kept feeling the need to tune.  Who tunes?  And that just leads to a bulid up of energy, albeit negative energy, but energy all the same.  There, question answered.  All that really matters, though, is that you do all you can to see a Fat Day show.  It is personally guaranteed and endorsed by each and every Your Mother member.
Rocket Queens!!!
and Ringwurm, Subincision, Nothing Cool, and some others...
don't know much else yet...
Cocadrie in SF
Sunday Aug 9
I don't remember much, man. It was just a blur of hair, guitar solos, stuffed pants and leather.  I remember the chaps coming in handy at one point.
Danny Angel, Midway(ohio), Punching Judy
Danny Angel is Pete Wagner, Dan Burnside, and craigums and it's a cross between the misfits and when metallica does misfits covers
Magoo's Pizza, Livermore
thurs july 30
The Events: With the exception of when members of the Islamic Center downstairs asked us to be quiet for 10 minutes so they could pray, things went off without a hitch.  Though, sometimes I think people in Livermore are just cardboard cut-outs by the way they often just sit there and watch a band.
Danny Angel, Midway (Ohio), 
440 Six Pack
ditto
CW Saloon in SF
wed july 29
Wha' happened?:  Not much.  I had a good time.
Your Mother (of course), and 
Fun People 
(from Argentina!)
a BBQ of some sort. bring your Yves faux deli products or a whole lot of antacid
Livermore Teen Center, Livermore
Sat, July 18, 1998
Heated activities included: After considerable tension arose between Steve from Adjective Noun and the entire hardcore community we emitted Rock in an effort to further stimulate the bad vibes.  By the time we were done, though, most (but not all) were smiling and decidely non-comfrontational.  Acting like a complete moron in the face of animosity can do that, I guess.  Upon completion of our rather mediocre set, where "South Of Heaven" was plundered through, Paul Bostaph (the drummer of Slayer) came up to Bradley and said something along the lines of us being "entertaining" and "fun."  "Man, he was so nice," Bradley said later with a lingering sense of stun.  Rather reminiscent of Jason Newsted of Metallica putting our Pasture of Muppets sticker on his bass: small form of flattery from the least recognized members of most recognized bands.  Good to know they have a sense of humor, and more importantly, don't want to beat us up.  Fun People, by the way, were (and still are) just AWESOME.
Your Mother, Fun People (still from Argentina!)
celebrating the return of Argentina's finest (and now fattest)
the Fun People
Camden Teen Center, San Jose
Fri, July 17, 1998
In a nutsacshell:  The day of the show, Jeanine (the promoter who was lead to think she could start the show at 7 and have her 6 bands be done by midnight) found out earlier that day 1) the hall was double-booked, adding 3 more bands to the bill, 2) there was an AA meeting there until 8, and 3) the show had to be done by 10:45.  That's 9 bands in 2 hours and 45 minutes.  Things went rather frantically but both Fun People and us still got to play through a PA the size of a dinner plate.  They still Rocked.  They even got paid.
Your Mother,
Rank Review (ID), Gob, Operation Cliff Clavin (IN), Bobby Joe & the Children MacNuggits
Pajama Party
924 Gilman St
Friday, July 3, 1998
How it went:  All I really remember is Alex showing up in a full sorcerer's ensemble shortly before he disappeared and came back as a 6-foot tall/4-foot wide Pac-Man.  This was also before he went on about freebasing Bisquik and waking up inside his bed which, he was surprised to note, contained not boxsprings, but the illusive concoction known as Lymon.  Oh, and at some point BonneVicci was apprehended and removed from the premises by a team of crackpot squashbucklers with an obvious death wish.  We pulled together a chorus using Whitney Houston's all-powerful "Greatest Love of All" to which BonneVicci made his escape from his heathen captors and returned unscathed.
Your Mother, 
Vox Pop, Rank Review (ID), Punching Judy
show for the boise band
Magoo's Pizza Livermore
Thursday, July 2, 1998
Pre-show Note: just so you know, it is well-documented that we suck HARD 
4 out of every 5 times we play in Livermore. 

Post-show note: For whatever reasons the show started late and we only had to play for about 15 minutes, thus severely limiting our possible "suck time."  It was noted by audience members that never before had our playing/talking ratio been so in favor of the playing side.  In fact, I think nary a word was said between songs, less Alan's feeble attempt to gain acceptance of his incredibly dorky new shoes.  Those 'Ho's (as in "IdaHO") sure can jump.  And it's too bad Vox Pop feels the urge to go away to school, because they're getting really good...
Your Mother
we're practicing
yet to be determined
Sunday, June28
Notes for practice: Unless you're in the band, you're not invited.  this practice is called in honor of our lack of schtick. Gilman is the following weekend and, in an effort to come across as at "not totally, completely boring and/or old hat", it may be to our benefit to practice.  i know the likelihood of this is slim, very slim, but it would still be a good idea.  so far we are only at 1 practice this year and it's half over. let's beat our old yearly records and maybe make this year special! c'mon guys, 2 practices!  i know we can do it! 
After Practice Notes: Not too bad.  We came up with some new songs (all covers, of course) and delighted in stories involving socks, duct tape, and the theme to the Lite Brite commercial.
Your Mother, Nothing Cool, Nuclear Rabbit
I hate smoking...
533 Madison
in Fairfield
June 6, 1998
How it went:  Sensing mid-set failure the clothes were shed and bad covers were hauled out.  But not only were the Fairfielder's imperviousness to our shenannigans but the smell of our dirty cocks drove most of them away.  They had goats in their backyard so our regular motto of "Don't Fuck With The Ghost!" was altered to accomodate our new four-legged friends.  "Don't Fuck With The Goats!" we exclaimed!  Nobody cared.  So it goes...
Your Mother, 
K.P.F., 

Useless ID (Israel), 

Erik Core, Gut Monkeys
no 
particular reason
924 Gilman St
Sat, Apr 25, 1998
Synopsis: Useless ID were excellent, obvioulsy a sign of being on tour for a while, while we were mediocre, which is actually above par for us lately.  It was "Sports Night" and uniforms were donned shortly before our uniforms "slipped" off.
Your Mother, Subincision, Naked Aggression, Hellbillies, Nothing Cool, others
benefit for Llamas For Liposuction 
Cocadrie in SF
Sun, Apr 26, 1998
Synopsis: Our main reason for playing this show was because "Why would a crusty crowd like us?"  Our main objective was to humiliate ourselves (like usual) but to also annoy some dirty patch-punks and hawk-rockers in the process.  Then we got there and found out the guitar player from Naked Agression died the night before.  So much for our "making fun of Naked Agression" schtick.
Your Mother, Betty's Love Child, Curbs, Pigzenspace, and others
all ages, starts at 6pm
Odd Fellows Hall, San Jose
Fri, May 8, 1998
What happened: It was Josh's b-day celebration and he cut us short before we even got to play "Happy Birthday" for him.  I would have cut us off too, if I were him.  Mikey spent most of his time blaming his utter failure to play the guitar on the guitar itself (like skaters do to their boards when they bail), and our already meger performance suffered.  Mikey did, however, seem to take the attention off his lack of guitar skills for a moment when, in a moment of fury, he pulled his shorts down and did a Hulk Hogan-style removal of his boxers.
Your Mother, Bobby Joe Ebola, Astrolloyd, Aquamen, Feces Munchers (Mic Mucus' new band), many others
another Geekfest
Pt Molarte by the Richmond bridge
Your Mother's Day
Sun, May 10, 1998
What you missed: Everyone showed up at Pt Molarte and, for the first time in the two years Geekfests have been happening there, The Man came and shut it down.  After much deliberation, the show was moved to Mo's house.  We set up and proceeded to make most everyone sorry they went through the effort of having us play.  Mikey is pretty close to making Alan and Alan's equipment look good because half of our last two shows have been Mikey trying to fix whatever (borrowed) equipment he has just broken.  But, it was his b-day, so we got to take out a small portion of our frustrations by giving him his b-day spankings.
Your Mother, 
Third Sex, 

Cathy Ames, 

Luckie Strike, N.M.E.
Benefit for local Women's organizations
all-ages
Spartan Village Community Center, San Jose
Thurs May 14, 1998
What Happened: Mikey drove out there first only to find out it was canceled (probably due to Seinfeld).  When Alan went to call Bradley and I to tell us before we drove all the way down to San Jose, Mikey tried tackling him to the ground in an effort to stop him, so we would also drive for naught. Hey, what are friend's for?
Rocket Queens (our Guns'n'Roses cover band), Subincision
huh?
Boomerang in SF
Tues, May 19, 1998
What went down: shit! we played guns'n'roses, what do you think happened?! Rock occured, baby! in true punk fashion, though, we borrowed nearly all of our equipment due in part to our own ineptness, and part to lack of trunk space, and mikey decided his bare ass was substitue enough for his forgotten guitar parts. thanks to my dad for loaning me some chaps.

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